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Let’s go Tour de Francing 101

Its Tour de Francing time again. And you need to learn the lingo right now or yous’ll look like a bloody goose. Or worse. A mountain biker. That’s why I’ve prepared this handy guide to talking roadie lingo. In the official language of the Tour of Frances. Bidon You’d probably call this a water bottle if you weren’t a proper roadie. You can call it a bidon now. In a sentence. My dog doesn’t come wh …

Posted by SSGC on July 6, 2016

NSW Police: Standard Operational Bullshit

Two too many people died riding bikes this year in NSW. Apart from being an awkward thing to say (two too?) it’s no doubt true. But does two people in a population of 7.5 million constitute the kind of crisis that needs a crackdown? Well yes. Enter, Operation Pedro 5. Apart from the obvious questions about Pedro 5 (there was a Pedro 1-4? where have I been?) the next most obvious question is, why? …

Posted by SSGC on July 2, 2016

The Political Cycle

Australians exercise their democratic rights this weekend. With so many issues that divide the parties (like, do we make refugees rot forever on a tropical island with no hope, or do we make them rot on a tropical island with a faint and indeterminant hope) one thing I think we can all agree on is the need to have a strong majority government. Democracies that are forced to negotiate, consult and …

Posted by SSGC on June 29, 2016

Top Five Reasons Why You Use Clipless Pedals

I put the question to a mate of mine recently, why do you ride clipless, and he stared blankly at me for some time. I assured him it wasn’t a trick question. But of course it was. Why would I ask if I wasn’t already prepared to contradict his answer? There a loads of reasons for riding clipless and not all of them are complete rubbish . Just most of them. Let’s run through a couple. 1. Reduces Wei …

Posted by SSGC on June 18, 2016

Mounting Bikes: A Short Personal History

Brownie showed me the first mountain bike I ever saw. It was in the Glenroy bicycle and toy shop and I must have been about 14. Brownie was a fool and I told him so because this mountain bike was an abomination. It was half bike, half BMX, half…no wait, it was half…it wasn’t half anything. He was half mad and mountain bikes were ridiculous. Our mate Brownie might have been a fool but his siste …

Posted by SSGC on April 16, 2016

Gloworm Lights X2 Review Part II: Getting Pissed Off!

gloworm x2 lights with dead LED

My approach to this blog (and life) is as an enthusiast. I try not to know too much about anything, something that seems to come natural to me, find the best in products, promote local brands, and encourage cycling and the industry behind it as much as possible. I rarely use this platform as a soap box to complain about things. Except today. Because Gloworm Lights are pissing me off. The Previous …

Posted by SSGC on March 31, 2016

My Site Was Hacked

My site was hacked. How did this happen? Why Me? Do we even care? Will life as we know it continue? Yes it will. Meanwhile I’ve moved across to this new host and there are lots of dud links, weird errors and other exciting stuff I’ll soon have cleared up. If you end up on a dud page, the back arrow is your friend. If you don’t know what a back arrow is, ask someone much younger than you are. PSSST …

Posted by SSGC on February 13, 2016

We all hate you fat cyclist

I hate MAMILs and the witless jokes people make them.  I hate cycling shoes and the those who think that complaining about ‘tippy-tap’ walking in cafes is funny or illuminating. I hate cafes and the way people sit around in them and socialize, sometimes in cycling clothes. I hate pathetic people who think it’s smart to repeat these boring lines about cyclists and pretend they’re new and clever. I …

Posted by SSGC on January 30, 2016

Don’t give me your bullshit

This circulated recently and it’s complete bullshit. The first thing you’ll notice is the math is all wrong. 1,400,000,000 divided by 300,000,000 is not 4,3000,000. It’s 4.33. So everyone would get $4.33. Except the expenses of distributing that money would gobble up most of the $4.33 and everyone would get $1.50. And then they’d have to pay taxes on it and they’d end up owing more money than they …

Posted by SSGC on January 27, 2016

When 1 is too many but one thousand is okay

Some dickheads in Victoria tried to ban hoverboards last week. And it’s not like you might think. It’s not because they don’t actually hover. It’s because they burst into flames. These dickheads get to say stupid things like this because they’re elected to parliament. Once in government saying stupid things is pretty much mandatory. How else are you meant to maintain your media profile? Say someth …

Posted by SSGC on January 13, 2016 Older posts

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