Hey mate, your wheels are turning

Riding around at night (or any time when people have had long enough to get drunk) you’re likely to cop of a fair bit of abuse. My favorite type of abuse is verbal, it being quite harmless. Getting run off the road by five guys in a Commodore or having stuff thrown at you from moving vehicles makes you appreciate just how nice verbal abuse is.

I was recently favored with the old classic, “Hey mate, your wheels are turning.” Unfortunately the young drunk lass rushed her delivery and failed to make the most of her opportunity. If done properly the “hey mate” serves to get the cyclist attention, and then the “your wheels are tuPublish Postrning” is delivered as the denouement of frivolous annoyance. Hers entire sentence came out in one rushed statement. It was a shame to see the young folk of today looking so pathetically inept at the ancient and venerable art of annoying strangers on bikes.

Thankfully someone redeemed themselves tonight with the simple and unfathomable statement, “Hey you, get a horse.” It’s imponderable and meaningless, and as far as invective goes it’s actually quite harmless. Listen up random pedestrians and juvenile car-loads, the bar has been raised.