Saving the planet one drive at a time

Many of my friends are environmentalists. There’s no end to the distances they’ll drive in order to get the latest energy saving devices. It warms my heart to see such caring responses to our global warming dilemma.

That’s why I’m so happy Tony Abbott’s government is going to repeal the carbon tax. It’ll make it just that bit cheaper for my friends to source those planet saving devices.

(Let’s drive over and rescue him.)

I quite like the built environment. Long boring rides through the country don’t appeal to me. I found Melbourne’s famous beach ride tedious last time I did it (admittedly 20 year ago). I like the stop-start of city traffic, the way it engages me to find shortcuts and develop effective routes, the opportunities for sneaky back routes and creative play within my commute. How the cars are practically stationary most of the time.

There was a problem with the carbon tax obviously. It made stuff more expensive. I’m not sure what stuff exactly because most stuff is still more affordable than it’s ever been at any point during my lifetime. Fuel prices have risen and I should probably blame the carbon tax for that. If I didn’t know better. If I didn’t know that about half a billion Chinese were getting into cars pushing up demand for fuel. I suppose we’ll knock off a few cents per litre when the carbon tax goes and then it’ll go up a couple cents almost immediately and everyone will get back to complaining and blaming someone else for the cost of filling their urban assault vehicles.

(“Just popping down the shop for some milk love.”)

I know fuel prices are a bitch. I hate the way prices go up on the weekend. It’s so unfair. Just because demand goes up on the weekend and if they didn’t control demand through price then they’d run the tanks dry every weekend. As a senseless cartard it’s my right to blame someone else if I’m too stupid to fill up on one of the five days of the week that aren’t the weekend.

It’s easy to see how fuel prices are effecting drivers. The average car size is…well…growing. In recent years the resurgence of the SUV has been possible because of the “fuel efficient” diesel engines now becoming popular. Yes, now it’s possible to drive a tank around town that barely used double the fuel of a small car. Let’s all be proper environmentalists and move to property on the fringes of town! We’ll get an SUV (to prove how countryfied we’ve really become) and commute an hour each way to work every day. We’ll spend the weekend carting the kids around (see, we really did need the big car, two kids just don’t fit into a Corolla) because they now live a million miles from their friends.

Still, we can celebrate our lovely green tinge when we get home. The television that takes up most of one wall is an efficient LED design, the lights are all compact flouros or LEDs, and the cleaner who drives out in her old Falcon every week uses vinegar and natural soap to clean the house. If there is anybody doing more to save the planet then please show me. I’ll be sure to drive over to find out what energy saving contraptions they’re using.

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