The Grand Oratory From AMEP

You know I’ve been a big fan of the idea behind an Australian Motoring Enthusiasts Party for ages. I look out my window here and see the roads everywhere and I think, I reckon car drivers are under-represented. And every time I ride and one of them has to push in front and block me, or overtake with millimeters to spare (because you know there’s something important up ahead like a red light to stop at), or just run me off the road and yell at me like it was my fault…well I think how powerless and under-represented they are and I wonder why they don’t have their own senator.

(Would you vote for this guy? No, neither would 99.9% of Australians.)

Good news is, they soon will. Ricky Muir won the raffle (with just 0.1% of the senate vote) and now this barely employable sawmill lackey will use his powers of grand oratory to argue against our laws in the senate. As part of the Palmer United Party (PUP) bloc he’s going to form a balance of power that can decide which laws make it through and which ones don’t. Not just road laws neither, because he’s no one-trick pony our Ricky. He’ll get to decide on repealing the carbon tax, the mining tax, the $6.4 billion paid parental scheme and all the other good gear the new government has for us.

So how good’s this guy? Is he capable of standing up among all those experience orators and stating his case? Can he hold his own and battle for a better outcome? You bet he can. Just watch this interview with Mike Willesee:

There is some speculation by the media that Ricky carried himself poorly during the interview. Motoring Enthusiasts Party secretary Keith Littler reckons he was a little rattled. I say bugger that. He was in fine shape. Compared with the incoherent nonsense most cartards spit out their window at me this interview with Ricky was pure gold. As a representative of his type he’s bloody near perfect.

Apparently Ricky’s been bombarded by the media. His PUP majordomo, the big PUPpy himself Clive Palmer, says Mike Willesee “had a plum stuck right up his arse.” Here here I say. Willesee’s looks of concern. His kindly offer of a drink of water. The way he gave generously of his time while Ricky stumbled through that crap about the aftermarket industry. It all smacked of a Mike Willesee stitch up! I’m tired of the way these so-called journalists let their guests hang themselves while they look on doing nothing to help. A bit of timely intervention and perhaps an easier question (“Did you see Bogan Hunters last night and were you on it?”) could have saved the day for Ricky.

Ricky has yet to return our PM’s invitation for a meeting. Keith Littler (AMEP’s party secretary) likes to pretend that Ricky doesn’t have time for it. As a partly employed lackey of the local sawmill he doesn’t get time. Or he’s unable to afford travel because he only works part time as a lackey in a sawmill. I got a little confused because at various times both excuses were rolled out. I’m pretty sure that if he’s unable to answer a few simple questions from Mike Willisee then he’s probably totally shitting himself about the thought of facing our PM. And fare enough.

The PM is a wily operator. A veteran of decades of debates, from the early days in student politics to his current position at the helm of our mighty ship of state, he’s had more arguments than Ricky’s had original thoughts. Just watch him in action below. (For the impatient you can fast forward to the 50 second mark.)

Ric can take solace in that interview. The moron you see above got voted into the highest position in the land. Some are saying that this weeks performance by Ric against Mike Willesee has shot his credibility down in flames. That seems unlikely given the way PUPs Jacqui Lambie keeps getting air time. Unlike Ric, Jacqui’s problem isn’t so much that’s she’s unable to speak so much that’s she’s unable to stop. And she keeps going on about topics she’s had no prior thoughts on, like taxes and governance. But she’s nobody’s bunny these days, with memorable descriptions of the PM and his mate Hockey as “lying…um…political politicians” and “it’s like they’re running round with chooks with their heads cut off.” And some people reckon the great days of political rhetorical flourishes are done for.

(A defiant Jacqui in foreground doesn’t notice Palmer wheezing as he struggles to get out of the car.)

I’m happy to see Ric among his own with the PUP bloc. The great PUPpet master himself Clive Palmer, he’s made a fortune digging shit out the ground and selling it to a resource starved market. He even has his own car with his a picture of himself in full double- and triple-chinned glory on the door, which I’m assured Ricky approves of. Ric’s among greatness and it’s insulting to think that a great man like Palmer should have to pay taxes on this stuff he found in the ground. That took millions of years to form into coal. And I can only hope the government repeals this wasteful mining tax and the PUP bloc speed the legislation onwards. Especially when mining income is spent as thoughtfully as this, to give air-time to the many disparate and at time incoherent voices of our community.

My bet is Ric doesn’t go full term. He’s out on permanent stress leave soon, only his generous senator’s salary, free air travel and staff allowances to keep him afloat.

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