It’s Called Science

I’ve just heard of this new thing called Science. And apparently it’s been predicting a pandemic for years. According to them a pandemic has been inevitable.

Inevitable means it’s going to happen no matter what you do. I looked it up.

Which is a shame because I’ve been wishing away things for years that I’ve now found are inevitable. It’s my number one coping mechanisms.

Apparently this Science has been studying diseases. It’s even been studying the corona virus. The novel corona virus covid-19 isn’t the only corona virus they’ve ever studied.

It seems they may have even warned us, humanity, about the dangers of corona virus. And we might have ignored them.

This is all very disturbing news to me. I’ve been watching Andrew Bolt and Sean Hannity for years. I’ve developed certain coping mechanisms that help me delay or deny the inevitable. I have for instance recently found out that the Global Warming is also something that the Science knows about. The Science is saying that this is something we need to be concerned about. I’m worried now that if the science was right about corona virus it may also be correct about the Climate Change. And that just blows my mind.

If the Climate Change is also inevitable then perhaps I can’t wish it away in the same way that I wasn’t able to wish away a pandemic.

Random picture of scientists doing science stuffs

Was It Made By Chinese?

Anyway back to my point.

My other main coping mechanism, after I realised the corona virus was real, was to tell myself (and everyone around) me that the virus had been caused by the Chinese.

This gave me great comfort. I am at heart a racist and bigoted person. I try not to show it. I don’t come out and say I hate the Chinese but when an opportunity like this comes along I’m all too eager to jump on it.

At first I called this the Chinese virus. And then I went full blown lunatic. I said that the Chinese had manufactured this virus so they could take over our markets. Even as the virus devastated those very same markets and caused unprecedented market crashes. Even as those markets looked like being reduced to worthless rubble, I was convinced that this was a plot to buy those markets.

I extolled my theory about the Chinese taking over through biological warfare. In fact, as the depth of the problem grew, I was more determined than ever that the Chinese were doing this deliberately. They had manufactured this virus so that they could poison the entire world and then take it over. 

So it disturbed me no end to find out that these Science People can actually tell where the virus came from. They’re so increibly clever that can look at a virus and tell whether it was natural or man made.

And apparently it is entirely natural.

All I can say is The Science is very mean, taking away the one thing that kept me going. Without my anger I am nothing. And now I have nothing on which to hang my anger.

It's Called Google

But wait, I said. If the Chinese didn’t make the virus then how come it didn’t spread through China? Huh? Answer me that one buddy.

Well apparently there’s this thing called Google. It has almost limitless access to knowledge. With if you can almost effortlessly expand your knowledge beyond the tiny comforting bubble you live in. 

So I did the Googles (as they say) and found out that China has launched the most comprehensive quarantine the world has ever seen. Described at times as being “draconian” (which has nothing to do with dragons, I looked it up), this lock-down is painfully obvious to even the most furtive search on Google. 

This article at Time magazine describes it:

And I just thought, well shit. Imagine all that information hiding in plane sight. 

Me doing a sooky when I banged my knee

Taking Responsibility

It even appears at this point that I might have to take full responsibility for my own life.

I’ll give you an example of this. Yesterday I was walking through the garage and I banged my knee on a bicycle. I turned on my wife and demanded her apology for putting that bicycle there. She pointed out that not only was it my bike but that I’d been putting it there for years.

It seems that in so many ways I am now having to take responsibility for my life and my actions. I can’t even sooth my pain by yelling at my wife. Or blaming China. I might even have to man the fuck up and start taking responsibility for my own actions. For a change. 

Nah. Not in my nature. 

Fucking Climate, I Hate You So Much Right Now

Most disturbing of all is this news about the Climate Change. If The Science is correct, the very same Science that is proving to be accurate and reliable on corona, then what do we do about this Climate Change thing? We have a few very bleak choices.

First option is, we can believe those Scientitians and do something about it. Immediately. Like we did with the virus (give or take a few valuable months were denial seemed like a better option). We can attack this problem with the same vigor we attacked corona virus.

Or we can ignore it and let future generations pay for it. Which is the choice I’m making. Time to go for a drive in my V8 and get the jet ski out. 

Hey, a leopard doesn’t change its spots.

Bye for now.

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