We Love Bikes. And We’re All Insane

If there’s one thing corona has proven, we all love bikes. 

That, and locking people inside by themselves isn’t healthy. Half came out believing corona was a conspiracy by China so they could take over the world. (There’s some crazy Doctor Evil-type thinking right there. What, is Ring-a Ding Ding or whatever the fuck his name is supposed to be stroking a cat when he thinks up this shit?)

And the other half sponataneously smashed shit up just for the hell of it.

Now I’m not actually against smashing shit up. I just reckon it should be your own shit. 

It’s like when the last bolt won’t came out and now the allen key has rounded it out. It slippped and you skinned your knuckles. Time to fuck some shit up.

It’s okay to fuck shit up because you know it’s going to be your shit. There might even be a bit of mental calculus. “What can I afford to replace?”

That fucking toolbox. That’s had it coming for years. Can’t find anything in that fucker. And I can tell by the way it looks at me it does it on purpose.

Then BAM! Endorphen release. You feel better. And you get a to buy a better toolbox. One that doesn’t hide stuff. One with pockets for everything and a nice clasps that make a satisfying clicky-click noises when you close them.

So I can understand the spirit required to go out and fuck some shit up. And I guess, if you’re part of a repressed minority (which I’m not, unless bald middle-aged guy in flanny and beanie is a repressed minority) then any shit that belongs to the dominant class, the stuff that belongs to the people who repress you, is good shit to smash up. 

But it’s like, one minute you’re having fun venting some overdue anger. Several generations of repression and 8 weeks of isolation are coming to a head big time. You’re breaking, burning, chearing… And then some guy walks past with a television.

Wait what?

But of course they do. Man I just watched the Fyre Festival on Netflix. It took those well-healed kids about 5 hours to descend into a mob. So now imagine living poor in the US or A. The richest most capatalist society on earth. The place is awash with money. Guys in Silicon Valley  need $20,000 sleep pods just to take a ten minute nap in. People on Wall Street only use $100 notes for snorting up $1,000s of cocaine. And all you want is a TV. And a Playstation. And a…now wait, you’re just getting greedy.

you'd be amazed how ineffective cardboard signs are for making change

Thing is, there are some fuckshit dumb arse morons saying BLM is the problem. BLM went looting. As though BLM was a single entity with a brain that got the endorphin rsuh from smashing up the toolbox. Then decided to grab a new toolbox. And a TV. And a Playstation. And oh that looks nice so I’ll have that too.

Which is pretty fucking stupid. A mob doesn’t have logic. People can have logic. Granted, most don’t. But a mob can’t have logic. It’s not a unique, single, thinking being. There isn’t a part of the BLM brain that thinks, now I’ve got everyone disctracted with the chants and the demonstrating, I’ll just whip in and steal some stuff. 

with everyone distracted by looting this cat moves in on the real prize

If a mob is just a mob. If a mob has no intilligence. And therefore has the ability to do the most outrageous and stupid things. Then people are the opposite. Individuals have intelligence. They are capable of reason. Which makes it all the more worrying when they emerge from isolation convinced that Dr Evil has cooked up a virus so he can take over the world. 

As though China doesn’t depend on the world economy. As though China, as the world’s largest manufacturer, doesn’t depend on the rest of the world to work hard, make money and buy the shit China makes. 

Here in Australia, suddenly everyone want to buy Australian again. Not that they have. But by golly they would. If only they could find the stuff they needed. Just trip over it sitting in the aisle at Woolies. And it was the same price as stuff from China. Or just a tiny bit more. Enough so they could feel like they done good by their country by making a sacrifice. But not enough so the sacrifice was real. 

Like these guys from Fuctards Anonymous:

fucking idiots

Just how many extra kids are  Coles and Woolies going to employ if I stand in line for them to ding my stuff through their conveyor belt? Just how many kids do you need to employ at $15 an hour so that it makes one fucking scintilla of difference to the Australian economy?

Meanwhile, China buy one third of everything we ship overseas.

Japan, who come second, buy only about 12%. USA is behind Japan.

And we’re worrying that we’re buying too much from China?

Do you think people in China are worried about buying Australian iron ore? Or sending their children to Australian universities. (Education is our 2nd biggest export earner.) Are people in China saying, those Australian’s just want to educate our children and take over their minds. Yeah, maybe. There are stupid paranoid people everyone. But we know that overwhelmingly they don’t. Their children are here, which is proof enough.

And yet, we’re convinced we need to stop buying from China. If only we could ween ourselves off that wonderful cheap stuff they keep sending up. Evil geniuses. 

And then, having arrived at this thought, we’re like, “Oh. And by the way. This makes me smart. And the Black Lives Matter is stupid. They did a riot and I didn’t.”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.